In light of recent events (Somer Thompson....)

[Kristie1978]

Okay, so I have opened up a can of worms amongst my circle of friends. Seems I good for that!

I live within an hour and a half of Orange Park Florida and where little Somer was taken from, the landfill that her body was found is only about 45 minutes away. So, it's been a huge topic and hit really close to home.

I made a comment asking what happens to a person that will make it possible for them to do something so horrible (mind you no one has been arrested in Somer's murder) I said a "normal" person doesn't do something like that. I said something horrendous must have happened to them most likely as a child. I caught a ton of flack for saying that.

Maybe I'm being a bit naieve (spelling?!?!?) but I don't think someone who can kill a child is your typical person I think something beyond shitty and horrific went down at some point in their life.

My friends say tons of people have horrible childhoods but don't do something like this, I say every situation is different and some children are just let down by the adults around them and others are not.
Any ideas on what could bring someone to commit such an act???
Or am I just off my rocker on this one?

[ScottCliftonsMom]

Hi Kristie,

In my professional opinion as a clinical and forensic psychologist and a marriage and family therapist, you are dead on. Dead on. There is no gene to design a human being to be so inhuman. It takes parenting to make us human and social. It takes bad parenting to make us dysfunctional. Serial killers have the worst childhoods of all. They are tormented babies who grow up. They never form an attachment to a parent. They are abused, tortured and demeaned. Then, they are told to keep their suffering a secret, to shove it, to repress it, and to never betray their parents, who continue to abuse them. They become a prototype for "The Big Bang," with two much density of denied traumatic material for one little body to hold. They grow up, leave the control system of their parents or "caregivers". They explode. They scapegoat, ironically, still protecting their parents. The MO, the way they kill, is always a clue to their own abuse from their childhood. There are no bad seeds, Kristie . There are bad parents, who were once children too. I have devised a Resiliency Spectrum, which will be in an publication of mine soon. It shows a continuum of childhood experiences. Those who say they were abused, but never turned out so bad, were not abused anywhere near that bad or that early in life and were not blackmailed out of their voice, to boot.

I think people who reject this theory are afraid that this is an excuse for bad behavior and that these people would be freed. This is not my contention. I think it is too late for these killers to be helped. While they have suffered from birth, I would rather let them be executed with insight from us as to how they got that way, than to defend their actions. Of course, I don't believe in the death penalty (for this reason), but I could no more defend their actions than the actions of their parents. I would rather study these people than execute them.

I believe killers scapegoat their victims for what they suffered at the hands of their parents. Some people cringe at blaming parents. It's their own taboo from their own childhood, and they are transferring their ethic not to blame their own parents to all parents, believing no parent could be that bad. Protecting our own parents, has the effect of blinding ourselves to our the actions of others, as well as to our own experiences.

When we can't see what happened to our most abused who had to grow up, but we loathe them, we are rather doing the same thing, taking aim in lieu of trying to understand what happened to them to make them this way. The cycle has to stop. It will end with thoughtfulness and clear seeing, such as yours, in stead of revenge.

Good job, Kristie. It's lonely out there for those who see clearly. Good for you. I imagine you are a very perceptive person and would make a great parent. Warmly, Dr. Faye

[Kristie1978]

Thank You, Thank You!!!


So, I'm not off my rocker always good to know. I was hoping you would read my post and thank you for responding.

It just blows my mind that people think someone is just a evil person for no reason other than to just be evil.

I guess it's easier to believe that than to think that society has let a child down to the point that they grow up and become these criminals.

Time to stop the cycle in my opinon, too many children are paying the price.